Boggitt Hunting and Other Rubbish

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2009-03-02T16:49:35+01:00

Sadly the Crumlyn Creeper has departed this life, on the 25 feb this year.
His wit and comments will be sadly missed by this Scribe,
I hope that anyone who has read, and digested the drivel that we posted received some amusment from same, I hope that someone out there might carry on his part.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-09-18T20:17:43+02:00

Dark matter as been created, within the Dafydd crasher(Welsh version of the Hadron Collider)
We were attempting to create Grockle sponges by the accelaration of Laverbread to beyond Bara Brith speeds , which is approximately four times the speed of a Penclawdd Cockle, all to no avail as a very large Black Hole was created when the Laverbread was bombarded with stale Welshcakes at Bara Brith speeds.
This black hole or Pit as it is commonly known in the locality, has swallowed most of Clydach,Rhos and alltwen. Not a bad thing according to the Colliers of Cilmaengwyn who were accusing aforesaid of pinching their load from the Tripe caverns.
We wait in anticipation of an equally plausible reply from the Crymlyn Creeper.
Hope this finds you as it leaves me Brainless

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-09-05T01:13:47+02:00

Well its good to have you back safe,can I suggest you abandone the Grockle sponge trading and concentrate on the agd.By mixing the rare Bara Brith in the skull of a recently deceased Grockle and then cooking at 450F at midnight on the turn of the moon for 2hrs the resulting mixture should present a viable power source if a Cross-Phase Loop is coupled to the brain of the Grockle that was recently deceased.
Obviously as everyone knows a dark, stormy night with lightning is best to get the super charge required. Care must be taken as a similair experiment was tried may years ago which resulted in Lundy Island being transported out into the Bristol Channel, (apparently it was originally attached to Mumbles). Laverbread whisky as a starter propellent could be used but would have to be measured very carefully.Using the Bi-polar effect of Twuzzle fruit would ensure the device stayed on the correct trajectory. I wish you luck.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-07-30T14:17:14+02:00

Have been out of the Country for a while, trying to set up a new trading post for Grockle Sponges, which are prolific in the Greek Islands. Unfortunately the laverbread raft was sunk by an Eartquake off the Island of Rhodes. My fault for calling the Templars a bunch of Pillocks, for losing the Holy Grail.
We are now in the process of constructing a anti gravity device powered by a rare form of Bara Brith. On completion of which Grocle Sponge(old Welsh spelling) will flow into a little known smugglers haunt, comefrombytherebeforeicatchesinew, near Penclacwich on Sea.
These will not be available on the open market but can be obtained from WWW.grocklespongewhimseys.co.wales We look forward to the comments of the Creeper as regards aforesaid dealings.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-05-30T20:54:50+02:00

Trouble at the Laverbread Carters Ball

Trouble at the Laverbread carter’s ball held in the village of Llandownbyther last Thursday may mean the end of this very old custom.
Word has it the evening had gone down well, almost as well as the Laverbread whiskey when trouble broke out between the carters and a group of quarrymen from the Bara-brith quarries that are located further up the valley.
An eye-witness stated that the quarrymen had started the fight by bringing into doubt the manliness of the carters saying, ‘anyone can sit on a cart all day’ and ‘they ought to try men’s work, like quarrying’. It seems one thing led to another and a fight ensued.
The Constable was called and with the aid of his nightstick, soon brought the situation under control. A number of local people were arrested.
Iestyn ap (his mother never knew his fathers name) stated as he was led away, ‘it was the best bloody carters ball he’d been to for years’.
A number of local dignitaries were present and Lady Elizabeth Corkscrew-Jones had to be escorted away by several male friends, she was seen later in the evening with a very big smile on her face. The Reverend Goronwy Pugh – Jones (no relation of the good Lady and by all accounts she’s very good.) had to be revived with what appeared to be some white powder that he insisted he put up his nose, this seemed to work as ten minutes later he was willing to take on all comers.
All those arrested will be up before the magistrate at Neath in the morning.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-05-30T20:00:20+02:00

Ills of the times 2.

Slack Tongue.
A condition afflicting folk who have taken in to much Laverbread whisky or been at the Twuzzle fruit and / or wine, and it has been suggested raisins / currants in welsh cakes can also contribute to this condition.
The muscle under the tongue is paralysed by the whisky and flops out of the side the mouth and being affected by the damp foggy surroundings, turns blue.
Women are affected slightly differently, the tongue still flops out and turns blue but with their incessant chatter means they can’t be understood giving a whole new meaning to ‘Slack Tongue’.
Curable.
Non contagious.

Crymlyn Squitters.
Very similar to the above but affecting the other end of the body. Again consumption of Laverbread whisky, Laverbread sarnies and the eating of the much prized Purple – spotted Turnip contributes to this very debilitating condition. It is most prevalent the day after festivals and holidays such as ‘Old Thrummers Night’
Curable.
Non contagious.

Foul Drought.
Normally only occurs in summer or times of very dry weather, the water in the streams and wells turns black or dries out. Locals take to the Laverbread stills and brew up, a very strong ale is made from the Purple – spotted turnip also the Twuzzle fruit makes a fine wine. Not all bad, but it does contribute immensely to the above two conditions.

Creeping Splooge.
A very nasty disease, and could be fatal. The person afflicted has been unfortunate in coming into contact with the carnivorous snails that live in the Nicnac birds burrow and has been lucky enough to escape.
Probably unknown to the victim at first, a few of these snails have attached themselves to the legs and then started to bite, realising this and brushing them off the poor wretch seeks help. But its nearly always to late, the slime from the snail has done its worst and starts to creep up the body, dissolving tissue as it progresses. If the victim is lucky and the family can afford the medication a ‘sometimes’ cure is Deep fried frog pills. This special frog is a tree dwelling species about 1½ long, yellow with blue under belly, found in the great forest on Drymmau Mountain so is a good days journey there and back, by this time the victim is deceased.
Curable???
Non contagious.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-05-06T14:28:18+02:00

Probably the village is more effluent than affluent, therefore Boggitt Dung is more readily available.
Clydach Market has recently opened a stall exclusively dedicated to the sale of said Dung.
Shipments of the aforesaid Dung are now being flown in strapped to the underbelly of the Vampire NicNac birds.
We have set up a trading post in a small Carpathian village, Sucio De Jos.I have personally travelled extensively in this area and can vouch for its effectiveness.
Beware the Vampire strain! it has a nasty bite, this can be spotted quite easily by the wings protruding from the Dung.
Holy Water, can be used to extinguish the heat and smell from same.This renders the Dung reasonably harmless, allegedly.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-05-03T15:06:55+02:00

The Use Of Boggitt Dung As Ammunition.

The use of Boggitt dung as ammunition is not be encouraged. Firstly, the high explosive nature of the dung (close proximity to ANY heat source will set it off and it is highly volatile if it gets damp.)
Secondly, the cost far outways the effectiveness of the dung as ammunition, but it is obvious that Dickydaido is living in a far more affluent village than the ol' Crymlyn Creeper'.
The cost of Boggitt dung on the open market was placed at close of business Friday at 3 suckling pigs or 1 small barrel of apples per Stone(14lbs)of dung.
This is far to dear for us poor folks down by the Bog.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-29T18:52:35+02:00

We are currently involved in the preparation for the new Boggitt Season. Which is almost upon us,Laverbread Jackets and Homespun Mussel fibre earmuffs have been spotted being illegally sold on e bay. All this prior to the start of the season.
As regards secrets, Twerps have been sighted flinging themselves off the Mountains at Cwmllynfell, trying to catch the Nic Nac birds in full flight, all to no avail as they do not yet have the explosive propulsion power of the Welshcake F--ts! Which is guaranteed to propel them into oblivion.
Boggitt Dung should also be carried during these forays as amunition.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-28T21:56:28+02:00

If any of our eminent and illustrious readers know of anything we should be looking for i.e 'The Twelve Knots of Coedffranc' or any other secret, please let us know.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-28T21:47:47+02:00

The NicNac Birds Graveyard.

A report has just come in that has stunned the scientific world.
Three explorers of Crymlyn Bog, who were looking for the source of the Crymlyn Brook stumbled and fell into an underground passageway, exploring this totally unknown passageway they finally came to a large cavern that was waist high with skeletal remains.
Examination of the bones took a while and the conclusion was that they had found the legendary graveyard of the NicNac bird. The Legend of the NicNac bird graveyard is well known.
But that was it; it was just a legend.

Now with this dicovery, other legends and/or stories may be solved.
Knowing the NicNac birds propensity for collecting all manner of things and not being of the disposition to return or 'give up' these possessions a thorough search of the cavern is proposed to find any artefacts that may lead to solving some of our greatest mysteries.
Rumour has it; and we stress it is only rumour, that already there have been finds that have obviously been hidden for millenia, among these are:-
The Lost Chord,
The Secret Parchment of Crymlyn (that Diarrhoea lost).
The Secret Recipe for Bara Brith.
Obviously the search through the remains will take months,if not years.

Note.
For the people that don't know the NicNac bird graveyard legend, here is a quick rundown.

For as far back as time has been recorded, man has believed that there was a cave/cavern where all the NicNac birds came when it was time to die. Legend has it that the bird would return to its burrow, swallow up all the 'treasure' it had collected and make its way quietly to the graveyard where it could be with its ancestors.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-24T23:11:26+02:00

THE COMAWAY PEOPLE.

These were a strange race of people that only seemed to travel through the area at a certain time of the year.
From about May through to September groups of these people, the poorer ones in their ox-drawn covered carts, the richer ones, with horse-drawn and with more elaborate carts would pass through the area making their way to the coast at Crymlyn Burrows. They would stay for about seven to fouteen days were they found great delight in laying on the sand and splashing about in the water. It seemed that when they passed through on their way down to Crymlyn Burrows these people were white skinned, but on the way back they were a deep pink or even red colour and their skin was cracked and blistered.

They were called the 'Comaway People' because they were either 'coming' or 'going away', the locals just called them 'comers'. Also, the locals told their children to 'Comaway' fearing the children would be taken to work as slave labour in the far off town of Neath, or the Bara Brith quarries of the valleys or worst possible fate, the welsh cake mines of Cilmaengwyn.

But the locals weren't that stupid, they knew when they were on to a good thing, selling these people fresh food and the 'very special welsh cakes' containg the Twuzzle fruit. They'd then sit on the sand hills and watch the antics of these comers.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-20T19:43:05+02:00

GRUNDLINGHOUND.

BREED TYPE. Hound. LATIN NAME. Grundling Dafticus.

The Grundlinghound was a breed of dog only found in the Crymlyn area. As its name suggests it was used to hunt the Grundling. As near as we can get to type, the Grundlinghound was about 3ft long and about 12inches high at the shoulder, good deep chest for swimming and the chase, good strong legs....preferably four of them and paws about 7 inches across to act as paddles and a long thick tail to act as a rudder. Colour didn't seem to matter but a browny-green colour for camouflage was preferred.
Its nose was turned upwards, more on top of the snout than in front to act as a kind of snorkel, and its eyes; two were preferable set wide apart for better all round vision. It sould have a soft mouth not to bruise the Grundling when it caught it.
THE GRUNDLING.
A semi-flightless, semi-aquatic bird of unknown origin. It was found only in two other sites in the area; Neath river marsh and Bendles Pond in Skewen.

--------------------

Found to be good eating, the Grundling was protected???? by the Squire's Keepers and Bailiffs. Hunting by the yokels was heavily penalised. Offenders were sent to the Welshcake caverns at Cilmaengwyn. Persistent offenders were made to join the Crymlyn watercress gangs. Not many survived as they had to dive the pools with the chains still on their legs and chained together.
Swimmers and non-swimmers were sometimes chained together.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-15T21:21:19+02:00

ODE TO BILLY KNUCKLEWORT. Part 2.

Poor Billy's last adventure, down by Crypligs Pool,
Nearly did for Billy, our little village fool,
Ridiculed 'round the village, he fell into disgrace,
He'd have to leave the village, find another place.

He'd heard they wanted workers, up on Drymmau hill,
This would be the place for him, he knew he'd fit the bill,
So gathering belongings, string, some sarnies and pet rat,
He set off for the hilltop, nearly forgot his hat.

On a path not far from home, he chanced upon a man,
Dressed all in black purple, carrying a fan,
He asked of our Billy, and was told the sorry tale,
Of Billy's life in Crymlyn, down there in the dale.

The story now gets foggy, and throught the mists of time,
Seems Billy was apprenticed, into a life of crime,
Following the Wizard, choosing the dark side,
Billy was turning evil, and on a downward slide.

Learning all the dark arts, it seems he had a knack,
Of curses, spells and potions, magic that was black,
Teachings from the Wizaed, give Billy powers unknown,
He knew he had to wreak revenge, on some quiet little town.

So he headed back to Crymlyn, Llandownbyther was near,
Billy marched straight in to town, didn't show no fear,
He'd give them all a demo, of the powers that he had,
The one that they all laughed at, a good kid now turned bad.

He'd make them all be sorry, for driving him away,
And all the years of ridicule, the time had come to pay,
Shrivelling all the farm crops, turning the milk green,
Billy was wreaking havoc, totally unseen.

But Billy didn't feel right, his stomach was in a knot,
All the good times he'd had there, and thought that he'd forgot
He knew he'd have to change his ways, try to put things right,
But was Billy really up to, such an internal fight.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-12T21:48:05+02:00

THE PLASTICINE PERIOD, A LOST AGE.

We all know of the Geological Time Periods, Cambrian, Jurassic,Cretaceous etc. But there is one time line that seems to be missing especially when it comes to the area around Crymlyn Bog. The time period in question is the Plasticine Period. Not a lot is known of this period and except for a few clay tablets uncovered and in the possession of that well known expert Dickydaido there doesn't seem to be a lot of evidence.

A few clay effigies, one being a rather crude likeness to the Baclicus of Skuan and a few clay tablets showing 'The Hunting of ye Boggatt' and another showing 'Ye Chase' supposed to be depicting an early Grockle hunt not a lot has been uncovered.

Unless of course someone out there knows different!!!

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-12T21:16:51+02:00

THE LEGEND OF THE BELLS.

The story it was started, or so the legend tells,
Of someone crossing Crymlyn Bog, heard a peal of bells,
So whats so very strange in that, 'tis a lovely sound,
But as he started looking 'round, no church there could be found.

Our hero was quite frightened, a stranger to this part,
He didn't need this mystery, he had a dicky heart,
Sitting for a moment, listening for the sound,
Then he finally realised, it was deep from underground.

Returning to the village, he called in at the Inn,
Downing several whiskies, two pints and a gin,
He asked of the locals, but heads were turned away,
No-one wants to remember, the terror of that day.

But as the ale was flowing, tongues were getting loose,
A story unfolded, put pimples on a goose,
The mayhem and the terror, oh so hard to tell,
Of the day the sea rushed in, and took the church to hell.

It took most of the village, some there did survive,
Of one hundred and nine people, fifty one alive,
The storm raged on for seven days, took all in its path,
And all the survivors, surveyed the aftermath.

Hills and small valley, all washed out in the rain,
Farms, fields and homesteads, now a marshy plain,
Looking through the swirling mists, and the deep, dank fog,
Looking at this place from hell, Known as Crymlyn Bog.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-09T16:25:59+02:00

Some Ills of the times.

TWUZZLE DRINKERS TICK or DRIBBLE.
Seen on people that had consumed to much Twuzzle wine. The wine had addled the brain and the mere sight of a glass would start the facial tick or dribble.
Non Curable, Not Contagious.

PONDSKIMMERS TOE.
Found on the collectors of the Crymlyn Cress, a delicacy much prized by the townsfolk around the bog and exported to far away places such as Skewen, Neath and Swansea. To collect the cress the skimmers would lay on a board and skim over the ponds collecting armfuls of the cress,placing them on the board. Some skimmers even erected a little mast and sail to get out faster and beat rivals to the cress. But it was the laying on the board with the feet in the water that caused the problem.
Curable, Not contagious.

CREEPING ITCH.
Said to be caused by shaking hands with strangers, especially those from across the water, Briton Ferry, Swansea, Mumbles etc.
Crymlyn people were very isolated and insular and didn't have immunity to these high living people.
Semi-curable.

GREENSKIN DISEASE.
Eating to many Laverbread sandwiches or drinking the Laverbread whisky was aid to cause this affliction. The enzymes in the Laverbread were said to leach out into the body and cause this. (I don't believe a word of it).
Not contagious.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-07T11:48:08+02:00

Apparently, three strange oddfellows were spotted, some time ago now, two were rowing a dugout sleeper across Crypligs pool, trying to find the Treasure mentioned in the Crymlyn Chronicles. All to no avail I might add, even though they had the fortune? to have the arch Druid Baglicus of Ska Wen in tow.Although he had been dispatched to find Tomos Gaib a Raw who had knowledge of where to dig, alledgedly, but after three days with a JCB, they only managed to find two very frightened and bedragled Grockles who had been lost in the Bog.They were duly returned to shore and sent on their way with a good cuff about the earole,and a belly full of warming laverbread Whisky.
Many strange tales have been told about the Bog, none so strange as this which is apparently true!
The Oddfellows exist to this day and are said to be seen on stormy nights, diving into Crypligs pool near Banc yr Allor, wearing diving suits made of Goodly Welsh Flannel, and helmets of Boggitt skins full of air, waterproof you know, who else would live under Cows, without.
Without Twuzzle pills all of this would not be possible.
They still seek that elusive Treasure,which some good authorities place in a different location, near the Welshcake Caverns at Cilmaengwyn, Mentioned on the clay tablets of Iolo Gwrthod of this Ancient Parish.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-06T21:05:57+02:00

The Legend of Crypligs Pool.
Cryplig was a medieval warrior whose home was on the east side of Crymlyn Bog and north of Llandownbyther.He was the youngest and daftest of the four sons of Gangewobble the Incontinent.Gangewobble's first three sons were all killed fighting various battles to keep the family estate,so when the news broke that the clan that lived the other side of what is now known as Kilvey were spoiling for a fight Gangewobble really did fill his pants.The clan that lived over the hill at Kilvey were known as'The Ifuwantsom'a very hard,aggressive people.So old Gangewobble unable to fight himself(they'd never be able to carry enough pads made from the Pamperus plant to keep him clean)had to send Cryplig.Not really a warrior,being the youngest he'd never learned to fight,his older brothers always did his fighting for him.He was into poetry and the nearest he got to anything violent was Soft Fudge Tennis,well if the fudge hit you it didn't hurt and you always had a sweety on the court.
As all the able bodied men had been killed in previousbattles Old Gangewobble didn't hold out much hope for a victory. What with a drippy son leading a ragtag army of old men, boys and a herd of semi-tame Grockles they went off to fight.Well,it seems Cryplig won the battle,how we'll never really know. Apparently,and this is only hearsay,taking the Grockles was a stroke of genius.The Grockles found some Twuzzle fruit (we all know what that does to the mind)and Cryplig somehow got it to the Ifuwantsom.Out of their minds on the Twuzzle fruit the Ifuwantsom were a pushover and Crypligs army ransacked the area and took away the'spoils of war'Gold,Jewels and all that the Ifuwantsom had stolen from other tribes and the Laverbread whisky.Travelling back across the bog and 'out of their brains' on the Laverbread whisky they got a little lost in the fog and fell into a deep,black pool. Non survived.And that's how Crypligs Pool,the deepest pool on Crymlyn Bog got its name, Allegedly.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-06T19:45:04+02:00

The Village of Llandownbyther
(or Llan down by there)

The village of Llandownbyther, not found on any map,
About three miles from Skewen, and two miles from 'The Tap',
It's somewhere out on Crymlyn, lost amongst the mist,
Some say you just can't find it, even if your *issed.

There are some tales of smuggling, and laverbread whisky stills,
And its even been suggested, illicit Twuzzle Pills,
The Revenue men keep well away, or get lost in the fog,
You have to know the secret paths, that go across 'The Bog'.

Its just a little village, few houses,church and farm,
And if you 'keep your nose clean', you won't come to any harm,
But strangers that start snooping, and being a real pain,
Somehow disappear....... just never seen again.

'Tis said amongst 'The Brethren', as the Wizards here be known,
That these elusive people, were sailors from a Gower town,
Washed up on Crymlyn Burrows; in the storm of '85,
Only a handful survived it, some just barely alive.

There's stories of 'Wrecking', I've heard the old folks say,
That these folks were invoved in, out on Swansea Bay,
Hailing ships with lanters, and shouting through the gloom,
They'd call them on to Crymlyn Beach, to a certain doom.

Taking all the cargoe, They'd take the women too,
It's the story of Llandownbyther, a village near you.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-03T21:04:15+02:00

Ode to Billy Knucklewort.(or The Village Idiot Strikes Again).

Every village has one, you see them hanging 'round,
Big and daft not stable, the brain is not to sound,
Built like a brick *hithouse,face like a Grundlinghound,
Running 'round the village, Knuckles scraping ground.

Not quite 16ounces, never learned to read and write,
Always deep in trouble, or spoiling for a fight,
Seems to be everywhere, never went to school,
Yes,now you have it. He's called the village fool.

But this story is for Billy, not for him the fight,
If you stood up against him, he'd nearly die of fright,
Billy was a gentle soul, always tried his best,
Lurking 'round the village, in wellies and string vest.

They all tried to teach him, get him up to speed,
Fighting a losing battle, his brain had gone to seed,
Gave him little jobs, something really simple,
But Billy was to thick, to even squeeze a pimple.

Poor Billy wasn't workshy, he'd have a go at most,
But he nearly burned the village down; trying to make toast,
The kitchen was blazing, and a sight to be seen,
As Billy tried to put it out, with a pint of Kerosene.

Seen out on The Bog, was our ragged little fool,
Looking for the Gold, that's deep in Crypligs Pool,
He'd heard bits of legend, of treasures to be found,
They heard his cries and rescued him, the brain was not to sound.

For Billy had gone diving, he really shouldn't oughta,
Silly sod left his wellies on, they all filled with water,
Thrashing through the murky pool, drinking in the slime,
Pulled up by his ear'oles, going down third time.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-03T20:41:27+02:00

Grockles.
These strange and elusive creatures were found roaming the east side of Crymlyn Bog where there was firmer. drier ground.They were about the size of a Shetland pony but thats were the similarity ends. Half swine, half hedgehog and threequarters badger (yes I know it doesn't add up but these were strange creatures).They made their homes in the Twuzzle bushes,and guarded these bushes with a demented passion because of their addiction to the Twuzzle fruit. These fruits were known to cause hallucinatons in humans so what the hell it did to the Grockle can only be imagined.
Different Twuzzle bushes bore fruit all the year'round so the Grockles had to roam the countryside searching for a bush in fruit, lay claim to it ....and wait. The main diet of the Grockle was the crops they could steal from the farms and cottages.Bog pototoes,chickens eggs and the much prized Purple Spotted turnip.But their favourite prize, when they could get them was of course the eggs from the Nicnac bird.But thy were very wary of the carnivorous snails that lived in the Nicnacs burrow.
Grockles were supposed to good eating, but they should only be hunted between St. Limpets Day and dusk of All Thrummers Eve. Care shoud be taken to hang the Grockle well to get rid of some of the fermenting Twuzzle fruit it had consumed. About four days was the average. A good guide was when the spines started to fall out.
Care should be taken when offering children Grockle meat, as even a little of the remaining Twuzzle fruit can be come addictive.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-01T16:30:34+02:00

As a matter of interest EURATAVIA was a little communist country between Luxembourg and Radio 1.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-01T16:23:40+02:00

Witches,Orcs and Elves and other Curious People.

There are stories that are told, told amongst ourselves,
Of Dragons and of Wizards, Witches, Orcs and Elves,
But not many know the story, that I'm about to tell,
Of a race of magic people, that live in Crymlyn Dell.

The 'SPYEMS'were a people, seen by few it's true,
Watchers for the Wizards', they keep an eye on you,
Oh so ever watchful, so the secrets never found,
Of the entrance to a nether world; far, far underground.

The legend as it's written, and I've no doubt is true,
Is of a secret parchment, written out in Prussian Blue,
It was given to the hermit; I think we know his name,
'Tis Ol' Diarrhoea, of Crymlyn Chronicles fame.

It seems he went and lost it, or maybe sold it on,
But the truth still remains, the parchments bloody gone,
The Spyems were enlisted, to scour across the lands,
And having got their orders, formed into little bands.

Each Spyem has a magic, and ways to make you tell,
They tell you if your lying, you're going straight to hell,
You never see them coming, they wear a magic cloak,
Spun from sap collected, from the Royal Oak.

They're everywhere about us, I know I said they roam,
But I bet there's half a dozen, hiding in your home,
No, don't look around you, don't even try,
They're really very little, BUT THEY HAVE THE WIZARDS' EYE.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-04-01T16:01:00+02:00

Newspaper Account.

Found wrapped around a tramp sleeping in an old track repairers cabin at Llandownbyther.

An account in 'The Llandownbyther Times'of new Boggitt finding; apparently a sighting of the 'Euratavian Boggitt',a first sighting in this area.

Experts seem to think it must have been on a piece of driftwood from the Black Sea and drifted on to the local marsh.

The tramp was given a large ball of binder twine and two knitting needles...... He needed a new string vest.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-03-29T11:07:38+01:00

Well there was Gimly Glitchbag, Oscar Osteoporosis, easily spotted kept falling down and breaking bits of iself
Also as mentioned in prior correspondance, Baglicus of Ska Wen, alledgedly still alive?

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-03-28T21:30:12+01:00

Of Witches and Hermits.

The CRYMLYN CHRONICLES that were found in the hermit hovel between Llandarcy and Jersey Marine were we can assume the property of the hermit Diarrhoea or 'Loosebowel the Smelly'. He was the youngest of 24 children of the old witch 'Granny Legspread',so named for her friendly ways.Kicked out of the family home at a very young age (well would you want him?)Loosebowel was left to fend for himself,using the skills he obviously inherited from his mother (no,not them skills, the magic ones)he roamed the countryside curing ills such as 'Creeping Itch','Pond Skimmers Toe'etc.
Finally settling at the side of the road he took to haranguing the locals and throwing Grockle dung at passing travellers.For this he was carted off to the original Tower at Jersey Marine.

'Granny Legspread' was one of the seven known witches that lived in the area. I can only find reference to two others,'Ol Mother Titus-shite',a very, very mean witch and a transvestite witch known as Jim.
But it is known that other witches/wizards travelled through the parish sometimes stopping on their way to the Great Stone of Drymmau.

Any help with the other names would be much appreciated or if there is info' on witches/wizards that passed through.

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-03-28T17:37:53+01:00

Hiya Daddy
u have got a weird blog!!!!!
see u bye

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-03-27T20:56:37+01:00

Is there any truth in the legend that says the Incantations mentioned have to be sung backwards and that the initiate has have a mixture of cow-dung and treacle placed on the head?

In response to:Sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt

2008-03-27T20:46:09+01:00

Iorwerth the Dragon Part 3.

Iorwerth the Dragon was feeling very down,
Cooped up in a crate, shown from town to town,
But an old friend was watching, who planned to set him free,
'Twas Twm the millers son, high up in a tree.

Twm knew his plan was risky, he might even lose his life,
So that morning as he set off, he'd even kissed his wife,Urghh
Sneaking up so quietly he prized open the door,
And found the dragon sleeping, curled up on the floor.

The dragon was happy, to see a friendly face,
He just couldn't wait, to escaoe this dreadful place,
He knew what Twm had done, risked both life and limb,
And gave Twm a toothy grin, his way of thanking him.

The dragon has escaped, all the people cried,
Running for their lives, not wanting to be fried,
Gathering belongings they headed for the coast,
Getting far away, not wanting to be toast.

But Iorwerth was far away; free to fly at last,
Not for this young dragon, to dwell among the past,
He still flies 'round about here', not always in the dark,
He's been seen twice in Skewen, over Tennant Park.