@ 2008-03-17 – 13:53:20
I am looking for recent sightings of the Greater Spotted Boggitt.
Anyone who has been near cattle recently will possibly have spotted them, especially when the cattle arise from the ground after rain.
Most of the British variety have 6 legs, and a long tail, and are usually found to be singing.
Anyone with any information, sightings, photographs (much appreciated), please respond to this blog.
batty
dickydaido
The Pro,s ( FIELD GRULERS )use the time honored method of hunting, using the Dooley stick,developed by the Ancient Egyptians as the Ankh! but with a subtle difference, ie, the bifurcated hook at the lower end.
The Pyramid Texts have many references to this stick, see Tutankhamen, Smenkharay, Ramses Etc.
Extremely good copies of these sticks can still be obtained, from the Stickman, name and address can be supplied if one is really keen on hunting.
Committment can be demonstrated by singing to cows at midnight, on the Summer Solstice. But most times of year are acceptable
batty
Thank you for the information, I see there is a wealth of it available! With Easter weekend upon us, I thought it might be appropriate to arrange a spot of boggitt spotting and hunting for the local children. Normally they would sit around eating huge chocolate eggs; with the current spate of childhood obesity perhaps a spot of boggitt hunting would help to alleviate this by getting them out in the fresh air and being active. I myself hope to be out and about this weekend with my trusty hound - are there any songs in particular that are effective in luring the boggitts?
dickydaido
I would strongly suggest you leave comments for the Crymlyncreeper, a World authority on all things Boggitt.It is always much appreciated by his esteemed Brain damaged self, that more younger people are becoming interested in the Black Art of Boggitting.As regards an organised Boggitt hunt for the Fatties! not recommended at this time of year, as the Boggitt grounds are full of the Transylvanian Vampire Boggitt. I would leave this pursuit untill at least one week after the clocks go forward. It can be deemed safe when the Trannies are seen leaving Drummau top in their droves, screaming like Pontardawe Banshees.
Boggit hunting songs will soon be available on large format Clay Tablets, players for these are still in the R&D stage, will keep you informed as to the availability, the main outlet being the Welshcake Caverns.
A new song is being discussed by myself and the Creeper if only I can catch him.
seedydeedee
Hiya,
I hadn't realised it until now, but I think I've heard quite a few boggitts in my time. I spend a lot of time in fields communing with hobgoblins, fairies and other wild fauna, and I have actually noticed some very low level trumping sounds when walking past cattle - could this be singing boggitts at play?
I'm quite keen to catch a boggitt and add it to my taxidermy collection, and I believe there may be a concentration of them around the more desolate and untrodden areas of Drummau and Cimla. Maybe we could arrange a safari?
Yours in anticipation,
Rainbow Willowspoon.
dickydaido
Communing with Hobgoblins, is an extremely dangerous passtime, unless of course one is protected by the incantation of the Snilbogboh spell as laid down by the Wizards of Drummau, led by Arch Wizard Baglicus of Ska Wen.
As to the arrangement of a Boggitt Hunt Saffari, this will be discussed at the next Boggitt mass histeria meeting,I will personally broach the subject with our esteemed leader,Manic Morpheous.The strange trumping noises you heard whilst walking, were caused by the Mini underground Pachyderms( only found on Drummau Majic Mountain ) playing cards. Ignore them as they can become a nuisance, especially when they follow you home.Messed Up bedding!
crymlyncreeper
One of the first mentions locally (within the Coedffranc parish) of the 'Boggitt' or 'Pleb' is in that well known book the Crymlyn Chronicles. Found in an old hermits hovel that is marked as being on the old road between what is now the villages of Llandarcy and Jersey Marine. It was found wrapped in a covering made of sewn together hedgehog bladders, (believed to ward off evil spirits). The Boggitt, there are allegedly two varieties -- the 7 banded and the 9 banded were found under the cattle that were grazing the local salt marshes, when the cattle were laying down the Boggits would crawl underneath and suck the milk and get warmth. There was also a story that like the vampire bats of Africa they also nicked the skin of the cattle and drank BLOOD, I believe this was a story to frighten the children and keep them off the marsh.It was also rumoured that Boggitt Hunting was a cover activity for the smugglers on the River Neath and that they were just there to retrieve the contraband off the marsh. This is of course a lie put about by the Authorities to try to stop the sport of the working man. Yes of course 'things were found'and local people did make use of the old barrels and crates, but that did not make them smugglers.
dickydaido
Just to let you know, we were only looking for the elusive Baglicus Ostritch when spotted on the Marsh. The Boggitt Hunt, had now become secondary to our purpose. Yes we did find barrels,crates Etc in our quest, but these were used to fuel the warming fires used for the quest, and to warm the Ginn Boots which had become hard from the copious quantities of Mead that had been drank from them on the last Boggitt foray.
We are not Smugglers but lowly working men, engaged in the gentle countryside passtimes.
FOR SALE
1 Pair GINN BOOTS VERY LARGE .
NEVER BEEN REMOVED UNTILL THE CODGERS DEMISE.
These are very High in many senses but are fully servicable
Offers in the region of two Groats and a Boggitt skin
crymlyncreeper
Quick guide to 'The Art of Boggitt Hunting'
The equipment and dress were were fairly straight forward.
Dooley or Doulay Stick: Ginn Boots and a Snadger sack.
The Dooley Stick: Was traditionally made of Ash, Hazel or Blackthorn. Pointed at one end and turned or rounded at the other, it was made for the individual, the length being measured as the distance between the 'crook' of the elbow and the top of the shoulder. The stick was sometimes carved with runes to ward off evil spirits and to bring the owner good luck in the hunt.
The Ginn Boots: Made of 1/4" thick stiff leather and came up to the wearers armpits, todays fly fishermen wear something similar but of much lighter material.
The Snadger Sack: Made of a hessian or canvas material with a drawstring top, it had to strong and durable to cope with the salt marsh and the bite of the Boggitt (vicious little sods)
The Hunt: When the tides and Moon were right and all the correct omens were in place the hunters would gather on the marsh.Suitably clad, the hunters would cross the marsh 'line abreast'singing some long lost song and when they reached the cows would beat them around the ears with the rounded end of the stick, when they got up the hunters would stick the Boggitts with the sharpened end and place them in the sack.
Points were awarded for the best sack of Boggitts. Different point were awarded for 7 banded or 9 banded, male or female.
More points were awarded for female Boggits as they tended to be quite vicious and would inflict a nasty wound if they managed to get skin side of the Ginn Boots.
Apparently the runes on the Dooley stick would have helped to ward of the attentions of the giant that lived the other side of the river at the place we now know of as Giants Grave.
Smugglers and bandits were very active in Skewen/Coedffranc area and were somewhere around the Crymlyn Bog area. The most famous of these was the 'Twll yn y Wal' gang. This gang was made famous by the American film of the same name but the activities of the gang were hyped up for Hollywood.
One of the gangs greatest hauls was a consignment of cockles and laverbread from Penclawdd going to Neath Market, this highly prized shipment was broken up and sold out of covered wicker baskets on the street corners of Skewen.
Another illicit commodity was 'Welsh cakes'; made in the back kitchens of local farmhouses and traded under the cover of darkness in the local Inns and Beer houses.
The ingredients of these cakes was always a closely guarded secret, the recipe handed down from mother to daughter. It seems it was the females of the Families that ran this ring or cartel. Of course, controlling the amount of cakes available drove up the price.
crymlyncreeper
Another local rarity.
A local species that was hunted to extintion was the Nicnac bird (Finduskeepus). This bird as its colloquial name suggests roamed around the countryside and villages picking up anything that was left laying around (scraps of food, washing off bushes, children and anything else they could find, about the size of small emu these birds lived in very large burrows undergound and it is believed that during the hunt for one of these birds that the first ever coal was found in the South Wales area.
It was always a good scapegoat if something was lost. "Oh that bloody Nicnac bird has had it" and parents would warn their children about leaving their hoops and spinning tops outside saying the 'Nicnac bird will have them', a great ploy to get the kids to tidy up. Finding the holes for these birds was not a problem, a 5ft bird needs a bloody big burrow but retrieving possessions would have been quite dangerous (it didn't like giving things back) also sharing the burrow was possibly one of the largest and nastiest carnivorous snails, a 'slime' of these, sometimes up to a thousand strong would attack any wouldbe intruder sadly all that was ever left was a few bones.
What kind of relationship the Nicnac bird had with these snails or for that matter the snails with the bird has never been established.
Answers on a postcard please or preferably chuck in your opinions here
crymlyncreeper
News Flash
Boggitt twitchers seen congregating on Neath river marsh between Neath Abbey and Skewen.
Is this the start of new breeding season?
Will any twitcher please send findings report to dickydaido.
crymlyncreeper
FOR THERE BE DRAGONS.
Take care ye people as ye go,
And walk along the valley floor,
Keep a look-out, cast an eye,
O'er the bog and in the sky.
The dragon lives and it's no myth,
Ask ol' Will the old blacksmith,
'Twas he who saw it by Red Jacket Pill,
Flying home to Drymmau Hill.
Breathing fire, wings like leather,
Setting fire to all the heather,
A Grockle clasped between its feet,
Well even Dragons have to eat.
Home it flew to that magic hill,
And some believe it lives there still,
Sleeping soundly, quietly straining,
WAITING FOR IT TO STOP BLOODY RAINING.
dickydaido
I think you have been to the Welshcake Caverns, yet again.
Tis the smell of Raisins, that has addled your Brain!
dickydaido
I think you have been to the Welshcake Caverns, yet again.
Tis the smell of Raisins, that has addled your Brain!
crymlyncreeper
Perhaps I should have mentioned its the breeding season of the Boggitt we're interested in....not of the twitchers.
dickydaido
We are now very excited at the prospect of an impending Boggitt Hunt as the saeson is not fully upon us.
crymlyncreeper
IORWERTH THE DRAGON.
Iorwerth the dragon,
Was everybodies friend,
Well at least he tried to be,
'Til they met a fiery end.
Found as an egg,
By Twm the Millers son,
Who thought he'd take it home,
Try and have some fun.
He'd place it under Christine,
The millers trusty hen,
It couldn't escape, locked up in the pen.
Well time went on and Christine,
Sat on it day and night,
Until the day of hatching,
She had this awful fright.
Not of a fluffy yellow chick,
She'd heard the others tell,
She'd had this scaly thing,the demon child from hell.
With great yellow eyes and a smoking nose
The points on its head, what the hell were those?
She looked quite closely at these strange things,
And really did it have, bright green leather wings?
dickydaido
Most of us Boggitt Twitchers, need to know the name of the medication you are currently on.
It could be of immense value to the Boggitt non believers.
crymlyncreeper
IORWERTH THE DRAGON PART 2
When Iorwerth was little,
He couldn't control his fire,
He'd already burned down,
Two hayricks and a byre,
Nobody loved him,
Didn't want him 'round
Oh how he wished he'd never been found.
He tried playing with children,
He'd join in all their games,
But things seemed to just go wrong,
They'd all end up in flames.
The villagers started talking,
And Iorwerth had to go,
But how do you get rid,
Of a Dragon that's nine foot four.
They asked the local wiseman,
If he could cast a spell,
Some even suggested,
They tipped Iorwerth down the well.
A travelling circus came to town,
It's owner 'Gaudy Jack',
He'd always kept strange animals,
Hidden 'round the back.
Would he take the dragon,
All the village said,
Get rid of it for once and all,
We'd sleep soundly in us beds.
Well, they caught ol' Iorwerth sleeping,
And tied his mouth up tight,
But he very nearly struggled free,
Gave them all a fright.
Was this the end for Iorwerth?
Was he destined not to flee?
We'll all have to wait and see......
In Iorwerth Part 3.
crymlyncreeper
Have recently seen a transcription of another part of the Crymlyn Chronicles and a reference to that old pagan custom of 'OLD THRUMMERS NIGHT' unfortunately the piece that described the art of THRUMMING / THRUMMERS was to degraded for the transcriber to decypher. So once again any help would be appreciated.
crymlyncreeper
Must be that Grockle stew I had, left this bit out of the Thrummers piece.
There was also a mention in the transcription of a
'Clackwinders lichen bar and rope'
dickydaido
Have in my possesion, an old welsh clay tablet, prior to the development of Laverbread Parchment, which makes reference to the Black Art of Thrumming.
This was always practiced after copious quantities of Laverbread butties and Pleb water had been sloshed down, (the regurgitation of which was used in the manufacture of Laverbread Parchment)
Thrumming
The Thrumm of all things that cannot be explained in layman terms,one has to be initiated into the Thrumm Gathering on a wet and windy night, usually held where Witches and Goblins do dwell. One of the well known locations being Drummau Top,
presided over by the Arch Majister Baglicus of Ska Wen.
These gatherings should not be approached by laymen unless all the incantations and songs are recited and sung prior to joining.
Boggitt Men are excluded from these provisos as they are already beyond Human help.
crymlyncreeper
Is there any truth in the legend that says the Incantations mentioned have to be sung backwards and that the initiate has have a mixture of cow-dung and treacle placed on the head?
isadora101
What be this?
Are Boggitt hatchers legally employed?
Is it a crime to seek out and snare defenceless boggits?
(time honoured methods they may be!)
If I sang to a cow at midnight would I qualify to be 'carried away by the men in white coats'?
The distribution of unprescribed medication(albeit to the advantage to future converts) could be construed as "drug dealing"
Oh and by the way I think I \\have spotted a Bloggitt..sorry boggitt
Hiding here.
http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=2426027
dickydaido
Not legally employed, but it is an old Welsh Country pursuit.The Wizards of Drummau, turn a blind eye to this,as it keeps the cow pats Boggitt free.
This can then be marketed to unsuspecting tourists as Laverbread, an old Welsh Sea food delicacy.
Singing to cows at midnight would possibly get you taken off by the men in white coats, but we Welsh have a time honoured method of not being spotted,ie, sing silently and wear a white coat.
If you think you have spotted a Boggitt, you have my sympathy, people have been driven mad by their constant wingeing, about the terrible conditions that they live under!
Photographs would be much appreciated.
crymlyncreeper
It is not a crime to hunt the Boggitt as they are considered a pest also the fact that hunting keeps the numbers down as they tend to breed rather prolifically. The ABHL (Anti Boggitt Hunting League)has tried to ban the hunt but as only two turned up for the meeting and one of them was a 70yr old granny who thought it was a sewing circle their protest never got off the ground.
We are looking for a sponsor for a new Challenge Cup to be presented at he end of this season, Please we are looking for a NEW cup... not one someone's nicked from the sport pavilion.
crymlyncreeper
Iorwerth the Dragon Part 3.
Iorwerth the Dragon was feeling very down,
Cooped up in a crate, shown from town to town,
But an old friend was watching, who planned to set him free,
'Twas Twm the millers son, high up in a tree.
Twm knew his plan was risky, he might even lose his life,
So that morning as he set off, he'd even kissed his wife,Urghh
Sneaking up so quietly he prized open the door,
And found the dragon sleeping, curled up on the floor.
The dragon was happy, to see a friendly face,
He just couldn't wait, to escaoe this dreadful place,
He knew what Twm had done, risked both life and limb,
And gave Twm a toothy grin, his way of thanking him.
The dragon has escaped, all the people cried,
Running for their lives, not wanting to be fried,
Gathering belongings they headed for the coast,
Getting far away, not wanting to be toast.
But Iorwerth was far away; free to fly at last,
Not for this young dragon, to dwell among the past,
He still flies 'round about here', not always in the dark,
He's been seen twice in Skewen, over Tennant Park.
Hiya Daddy
u have got a weird blog!!!!!
see u bye
crymlyncreeper
Of Witches and Hermits.
The CRYMLYN CHRONICLES that were found in the hermit hovel between Llandarcy and Jersey Marine were we can assume the property of the hermit Diarrhoea or 'Loosebowel the Smelly'. He was the youngest of 24 children of the old witch 'Granny Legspread',so named for her friendly ways.Kicked out of the family home at a very young age (well would you want him?)Loosebowel was left to fend for himself,using the skills he obviously inherited from his mother (no,not them skills, the magic ones)he roamed the countryside curing ills such as 'Creeping Itch','Pond Skimmers Toe'etc.
Finally settling at the side of the road he took to haranguing the locals and throwing Grockle dung at passing travellers.For this he was carted off to the original Tower at Jersey Marine.
'Granny Legspread' was one of the seven known witches that lived in the area. I can only find reference to two others,'Ol Mother Titus-shite',a very, very mean witch and a transvestite witch known as Jim.
But it is known that other witches/wizards travelled through the parish sometimes stopping on their way to the Great Stone of Drymmau.
Any help with the other names would be much appreciated or if there is info' on witches/wizards that passed through.
dickydaido
Well there was Gimly Glitchbag, Oscar Osteoporosis, easily spotted kept falling down and breaking bits of iself
Also as mentioned in prior correspondance, Baglicus of Ska Wen, alledgedly still alive?
crymlyncreeper
Newspaper Account.
Found wrapped around a tramp sleeping in an old track repairers cabin at Llandownbyther.
An account in 'The Llandownbyther Times'of new Boggitt finding; apparently a sighting of the 'Euratavian Boggitt',a first sighting in this area.
Experts seem to think it must have been on a piece of driftwood from the Black Sea and drifted on to the local marsh.
The tramp was given a large ball of binder twine and two knitting needles...... He needed a new string vest.
crymlyncreeper
Witches,Orcs and Elves and other Curious People.
There are stories that are told, told amongst ourselves,
Of Dragons and of Wizards, Witches, Orcs and Elves,
But not many know the story, that I'm about to tell,
Of a race of magic people, that live in Crymlyn Dell.
The 'SPYEMS'were a people, seen by few it's true,
Watchers for the Wizards', they keep an eye on you,
Oh so ever watchful, so the secrets never found,
Of the entrance to a nether world; far, far underground.
The legend as it's written, and I've no doubt is true,
Is of a secret parchment, written out in Prussian Blue,
It was given to the hermit; I think we know his name,
'Tis Ol' Diarrhoea, of Crymlyn Chronicles fame.
It seems he went and lost it, or maybe sold it on,
But the truth still remains, the parchments bloody gone,
The Spyems were enlisted, to scour across the lands,
And having got their orders, formed into little bands.
Each Spyem has a magic, and ways to make you tell,
They tell you if your lying, you're going straight to hell,
You never see them coming, they wear a magic cloak,
Spun from sap collected, from the Royal Oak.
They're everywhere about us, I know I said they roam,
But I bet there's half a dozen, hiding in your home,
No, don't look around you, don't even try,
They're really very little, BUT THEY HAVE THE WIZARDS' EYE.
crymlyncreeper
As a matter of interest EURATAVIA was a little communist country between Luxembourg and Radio 1.
crymlyncreeper
Grockles.
These strange and elusive creatures were found roaming the east side of Crymlyn Bog where there was firmer. drier ground.They were about the size of a Shetland pony but thats were the similarity ends. Half swine, half hedgehog and threequarters badger (yes I know it doesn't add up but these were strange creatures).They made their homes in the Twuzzle bushes,and guarded these bushes with a demented passion because of their addiction to the Twuzzle fruit. These fruits were known to cause hallucinatons in humans so what the hell it did to the Grockle can only be imagined.
Different Twuzzle bushes bore fruit all the year'round so the Grockles had to roam the countryside searching for a bush in fruit, lay claim to it ....and wait. The main diet of the Grockle was the crops they could steal from the farms and cottages.Bog pototoes,chickens eggs and the much prized Purple Spotted turnip.But their favourite prize, when they could get them was of course the eggs from the Nicnac bird.But thy were very wary of the carnivorous snails that lived in the Nicnacs burrow.
Grockles were supposed to good eating, but they should only be hunted between St. Limpets Day and dusk of All Thrummers Eve. Care shoud be taken to hang the Grockle well to get rid of some of the fermenting Twuzzle fruit it had consumed. About four days was the average. A good guide was when the spines started to fall out.
Care should be taken when offering children Grockle meat, as even a little of the remaining Twuzzle fruit can be come addictive.
crymlyncreeper
Ode to Billy Knucklewort.(or The Village Idiot Strikes Again).
Every village has one, you see them hanging 'round,
Big and daft not stable, the brain is not to sound,
Built like a brick *hithouse,face like a Grundlinghound,
Running 'round the village, Knuckles scraping ground.
Not quite 16ounces, never learned to read and write,
Always deep in trouble, or spoiling for a fight,
Seems to be everywhere, never went to school,
Yes,now you have it. He's called the village fool.
But this story is for Billy, not for him the fight,
If you stood up against him, he'd nearly die of fright,
Billy was a gentle soul, always tried his best,
Lurking 'round the village, in wellies and string vest.
They all tried to teach him, get him up to speed,
Fighting a losing battle, his brain had gone to seed,
Gave him little jobs, something really simple,
But Billy was to thick, to even squeeze a pimple.
Poor Billy wasn't workshy, he'd have a go at most,
But he nearly burned the village down; trying to make toast,
The kitchen was blazing, and a sight to be seen,
As Billy tried to put it out, with a pint of Kerosene.
Seen out on The Bog, was our ragged little fool,
Looking for the Gold, that's deep in Crypligs Pool,
He'd heard bits of legend, of treasures to be found,
They heard his cries and rescued him, the brain was not to sound.
For Billy had gone diving, he really shouldn't oughta,
Silly sod left his wellies on, they all filled with water,
Thrashing through the murky pool, drinking in the slime,
Pulled up by his ear'oles, going down third time.
crymlyncreeper
The Village of Llandownbyther
(or Llan down by there)
The village of Llandownbyther, not found on any map,
About three miles from Skewen, and two miles from 'The Tap',
It's somewhere out on Crymlyn, lost amongst the mist,
Some say you just can't find it, even if your *issed.
There are some tales of smuggling, and laverbread whisky stills,
And its even been suggested, illicit Twuzzle Pills,
The Revenue men keep well away, or get lost in the fog,
You have to know the secret paths, that go across 'The Bog'.
Its just a little village, few houses,church and farm,
And if you 'keep your nose clean', you won't come to any harm,
But strangers that start snooping, and being a real pain,
Somehow disappear....... just never seen again.
'Tis said amongst 'The Brethren', as the Wizards here be known,
That these elusive people, were sailors from a Gower town,
Washed up on Crymlyn Burrows; in the storm of '85,
Only a handful survived it, some just barely alive.
There's stories of 'Wrecking', I've heard the old folks say,
That these folks were invoved in, out on Swansea Bay,
Hailing ships with lanters, and shouting through the gloom,
They'd call them on to Crymlyn Beach, to a certain doom.
Taking all the cargoe, They'd take the women too,
It's the story of Llandownbyther, a village near you.
dickydaido
Apparently, three strange oddfellows were spotted, some time ago now, two were rowing a dugout sleeper across Crypligs pool, trying to find the Treasure mentioned in the Crymlyn Chronicles. All to no avail I might add, even though they had the fortune? to have the arch Druid Baglicus of Ska Wen in tow.Although he had been dispatched to find Tomos Gaib a Raw who had knowledge of where to dig, alledgedly, but after three days with a JCB, they only managed to find two very frightened and bedragled Grockles who had been lost in the Bog.They were duly returned to shore and sent on their way with a good cuff about the earole,and a belly full of warming laverbread Whisky.
Many strange tales have been told about the Bog, none so strange as this which is apparently true!
The Oddfellows exist to this day and are said to be seen on stormy nights, diving into Crypligs pool near Banc yr Allor, wearing diving suits made of Goodly Welsh Flannel, and helmets of Boggitt skins full of air, waterproof you know, who else would live under Cows, without.
Without Twuzzle pills all of this would not be possible.
They still seek that elusive Treasure,which some good authorities place in a different location, near the Welshcake Caverns at Cilmaengwyn, Mentioned on the clay tablets of Iolo Gwrthod of this Ancient Parish.
crymlyncreeper
The Legend of Crypligs Pool.
Cryplig was a medieval warrior whose home was on the east side of Crymlyn Bog and north of Llandownbyther.He was the youngest and daftest of the four sons of Gangewobble the Incontinent.Gangewobble's first three sons were all killed fighting various battles to keep the family estate,so when the news broke that the clan that lived the other side of what is now known as Kilvey were spoiling for a fight Gangewobble really did fill his pants.The clan that lived over the hill at Kilvey were known as'The Ifuwantsom'a very hard,aggressive people.So old Gangewobble unable to fight himself(they'd never be able to carry enough pads made from the Pamperus plant to keep him clean)had to send Cryplig.Not really a warrior,being the youngest he'd never learned to fight,his older brothers always did his fighting for him.He was into poetry and the nearest he got to anything violent was Soft Fudge Tennis,well if the fudge hit you it didn't hurt and you always had a sweety on the court.
As all the able bodied men had been killed in previousbattles Old Gangewobble didn't hold out much hope for a victory. What with a drippy son leading a ragtag army of old men, boys and a herd of semi-tame Grockles they went off to fight.Well,it seems Cryplig won the battle,how we'll never really know. Apparently,and this is only hearsay,taking the Grockles was a stroke of genius.The Grockles found some Twuzzle fruit (we all know what that does to the mind)and Cryplig somehow got it to the Ifuwantsom.Out of their minds on the Twuzzle fruit the Ifuwantsom were a pushover and Crypligs army ransacked the area and took away the'spoils of war'Gold,Jewels and all that the Ifuwantsom had stolen from other tribes and the Laverbread whisky.Travelling back across the bog and 'out of their brains' on the Laverbread whisky they got a little lost in the fog and fell into a deep,black pool. Non survived.And that's how Crypligs Pool,the deepest pool on Crymlyn Bog got its name, Allegedly.
crymlyncreeper
Some Ills of the times.
TWUZZLE DRINKERS TICK or DRIBBLE.
Seen on people that had consumed to much Twuzzle wine. The wine had addled the brain and the mere sight of a glass would start the facial tick or dribble.
Non Curable, Not Contagious.
PONDSKIMMERS TOE.
Found on the collectors of the Crymlyn Cress, a delicacy much prized by the townsfolk around the bog and exported to far away places such as Skewen, Neath and Swansea. To collect the cress the skimmers would lay on a board and skim over the ponds collecting armfuls of the cress,placing them on the board. Some skimmers even erected a little mast and sail to get out faster and beat rivals to the cress. But it was the laying on the board with the feet in the water that caused the problem.
Curable, Not contagious.
CREEPING ITCH.
Said to be caused by shaking hands with strangers, especially those from across the water, Briton Ferry, Swansea, Mumbles etc.
Crymlyn people were very isolated and insular and didn't have immunity to these high living people.
Semi-curable.
GREENSKIN DISEASE.
Eating to many Laverbread sandwiches or drinking the Laverbread whisky was aid to cause this affliction. The enzymes in the Laverbread were said to leach out into the body and cause this. (I don't believe a word of it).
Not contagious.
crymlyncreeper
THE LEGEND OF THE BELLS.
The story it was started, or so the legend tells,
Of someone crossing Crymlyn Bog, heard a peal of bells,
So whats so very strange in that, 'tis a lovely sound,
But as he started looking 'round, no church there could be found.
Our hero was quite frightened, a stranger to this part,
He didn't need this mystery, he had a dicky heart,
Sitting for a moment, listening for the sound,
Then he finally realised, it was deep from underground.
Returning to the village, he called in at the Inn,
Downing several whiskies, two pints and a gin,
He asked of the locals, but heads were turned away,
No-one wants to remember, the terror of that day.
But as the ale was flowing, tongues were getting loose,
A story unfolded, put pimples on a goose,
The mayhem and the terror, oh so hard to tell,
Of the day the sea rushed in, and took the church to hell.
It took most of the village, some there did survive,
Of one hundred and nine people, fifty one alive,
The storm raged on for seven days, took all in its path,
And all the survivors, surveyed the aftermath.
Hills and small valley, all washed out in the rain,
Farms, fields and homesteads, now a marshy plain,
Looking through the swirling mists, and the deep, dank fog,
Looking at this place from hell, Known as Crymlyn Bog.
crymlyncreeper
THE PLASTICINE PERIOD, A LOST AGE.
We all know of the Geological Time Periods, Cambrian, Jurassic,Cretaceous etc. But there is one time line that seems to be missing especially when it comes to the area around Crymlyn Bog. The time period in question is the Plasticine Period. Not a lot is known of this period and except for a few clay tablets uncovered and in the possession of that well known expert Dickydaido there doesn't seem to be a lot of evidence.
A few clay effigies, one being a rather crude likeness to the Baclicus of Skuan and a few clay tablets showing 'The Hunting of ye Boggatt' and another showing 'Ye Chase' supposed to be depicting an early Grockle hunt not a lot has been uncovered.
Unless of course someone out there knows different!!!
crymlyncreeper
ODE TO BILLY KNUCKLEWORT. Part 2.
Poor Billy's last adventure, down by Crypligs Pool,
Nearly did for Billy, our little village fool,
Ridiculed 'round the village, he fell into disgrace,
He'd have to leave the village, find another place.
He'd heard they wanted workers, up on Drymmau hill,
This would be the place for him, he knew he'd fit the bill,
So gathering belongings, string, some sarnies and pet rat,
He set off for the hilltop, nearly forgot his hat.
On a path not far from home, he chanced upon a man,
Dressed all in black purple, carrying a fan,
He asked of our Billy, and was told the sorry tale,
Of Billy's life in Crymlyn, down there in the dale.
The story now gets foggy, and throught the mists of time,
Seems Billy was apprenticed, into a life of crime,
Following the Wizard, choosing the dark side,
Billy was turning evil, and on a downward slide.
Learning all the dark arts, it seems he had a knack,
Of curses, spells and potions, magic that was black,
Teachings from the Wizaed, give Billy powers unknown,
He knew he had to wreak revenge, on some quiet little town.
So he headed back to Crymlyn, Llandownbyther was near,
Billy marched straight in to town, didn't show no fear,
He'd give them all a demo, of the powers that he had,
The one that they all laughed at, a good kid now turned bad.
He'd make them all be sorry, for driving him away,
And all the years of ridicule, the time had come to pay,
Shrivelling all the farm crops, turning the milk green,
Billy was wreaking havoc, totally unseen.
But Billy didn't feel right, his stomach was in a knot,
All the good times he'd had there, and thought that he'd forgot
He knew he'd have to change his ways, try to put things right,
But was Billy really up to, such an internal fight.
crymlyncreeper
GRUNDLINGHOUND.
BREED TYPE. Hound. LATIN NAME. Grundling Dafticus.
The Grundlinghound was a breed of dog only found in the Crymlyn area. As its name suggests it was used to hunt the Grundling. As near as we can get to type, the Grundlinghound was about 3ft long and about 12inches high at the shoulder, good deep chest for swimming and the chase, good strong legs....preferably four of them and paws about 7 inches across to act as paddles and a long thick tail to act as a rudder. Colour didn't seem to matter but a browny-green colour for camouflage was preferred.
Its nose was turned upwards, more on top of the snout than in front to act as a kind of snorkel, and its eyes; two were preferable set wide apart for better all round vision. It sould have a soft mouth not to bruise the Grundling when it caught it.
THE GRUNDLING.
A semi-flightless, semi-aquatic bird of unknown origin. It was found only in two other sites in the area; Neath river marsh and Bendles Pond in Skewen.
--------------------
Found to be good eating, the Grundling was protected???? by the Squire's Keepers and Bailiffs. Hunting by the yokels was heavily penalised. Offenders were sent to the Welshcake caverns at Cilmaengwyn. Persistent offenders were made to join the Crymlyn watercress gangs. Not many survived as they had to dive the pools with the chains still on their legs and chained together.
Swimmers and non-swimmers were sometimes chained together.
crymlyncreeper
THE COMAWAY PEOPLE.
These were a strange race of people that only seemed to travel through the area at a certain time of the year.
From about May through to September groups of these people, the poorer ones in their ox-drawn covered carts, the richer ones, with horse-drawn and with more elaborate carts would pass through the area making their way to the coast at Crymlyn Burrows. They would stay for about seven to fouteen days were they found great delight in laying on the sand and splashing about in the water. It seemed that when they passed through on their way down to Crymlyn Burrows these people were white skinned, but on the way back they were a deep pink or even red colour and their skin was cracked and blistered.
They were called the 'Comaway People' because they were either 'coming' or 'going away', the locals just called them 'comers'. Also, the locals told their children to 'Comaway' fearing the children would be taken to work as slave labour in the far off town of Neath, or the Bara Brith quarries of the valleys or worst possible fate, the welsh cake mines of Cilmaengwyn.
But the locals weren't that stupid, they knew when they were on to a good thing, selling these people fresh food and the 'very special welsh cakes' containg the Twuzzle fruit. They'd then sit on the sand hills and watch the antics of these comers.
crymlyncreeper
The NicNac Birds Graveyard.
A report has just come in that has stunned the scientific world.
Three explorers of Crymlyn Bog, who were looking for the source of the Crymlyn Brook stumbled and fell into an underground passageway, exploring this totally unknown passageway they finally came to a large cavern that was waist high with skeletal remains.
Examination of the bones took a while and the conclusion was that they had found the legendary graveyard of the NicNac bird. The Legend of the NicNac bird graveyard is well known.
But that was it; it was just a legend.
Now with this dicovery, other legends and/or stories may be solved.
Knowing the NicNac birds propensity for collecting all manner of things and not being of the disposition to return or 'give up' these possessions a thorough search of the cavern is proposed to find any artefacts that may lead to solving some of our greatest mysteries.
Rumour has it; and we stress it is only rumour, that already there have been finds that have obviously been hidden for millenia, among these are:-
The Lost Chord,
The Secret Parchment of Crymlyn (that Diarrhoea lost).
The Secret Recipe for Bara Brith.
Obviously the search through the remains will take months,if not years.
Note.
For the people that don't know the NicNac bird graveyard legend, here is a quick rundown.
For as far back as time has been recorded, man has believed that there was a cave/cavern where all the NicNac birds came when it was time to die. Legend has it that the bird would return to its burrow, swallow up all the 'treasure' it had collected and make its way quietly to the graveyard where it could be with its ancestors.
crymlyncreeper
If any of our eminent and illustrious readers know of anything we should be looking for i.e 'The Twelve Knots of Coedffranc' or any other secret, please let us know.
dickydaido
We are currently involved in the preparation for the new Boggitt Season. Which is almost upon us,Laverbread Jackets and Homespun Mussel fibre earmuffs have been spotted being illegally sold on e bay. All this prior to the start of the season.
As regards secrets, Twerps have been sighted flinging themselves off the Mountains at Cwmllynfell, trying to catch the Nic Nac birds in full flight, all to no avail as they do not yet have the explosive propulsion power of the Welshcake F--ts! Which is guaranteed to propel them into oblivion.
Boggitt Dung should also be carried during these forays as amunition.
crymlyncreeper
The Use Of Boggitt Dung As Ammunition.
The use of Boggitt dung as ammunition is not be encouraged. Firstly, the high explosive nature of the dung (close proximity to ANY heat source will set it off and it is highly volatile if it gets damp.)
Secondly, the cost far outways the effectiveness of the dung as ammunition, but it is obvious that Dickydaido is living in a far more affluent village than the ol' Crymlyn Creeper'.
The cost of Boggitt dung on the open market was placed at close of business Friday at 3 suckling pigs or 1 small barrel of apples per Stone(14lbs)of dung.
This is far to dear for us poor folks down by the Bog.
dickydaido
Probably the village is more effluent than affluent, therefore Boggitt Dung is more readily available.
Clydach Market has recently opened a stall exclusively dedicated to the sale of said Dung.
Shipments of the aforesaid Dung are now being flown in strapped to the underbelly of the Vampire NicNac birds.
We have set up a trading post in a small Carpathian village, Sucio De Jos.I have personally travelled extensively in this area and can vouch for its effectiveness.
Beware the Vampire strain! it has a nasty bite, this can be spotted quite easily by the wings protruding from the Dung.
Holy Water, can be used to extinguish the heat and smell from same.This renders the Dung reasonably harmless, allegedly.
crymlyncreeper
Ills of the times 2.
Slack Tongue.
A condition afflicting folk who have taken in to much Laverbread whisky or been at the Twuzzle fruit and / or wine, and it has been suggested raisins / currants in welsh cakes can also contribute to this condition.
The muscle under the tongue is paralysed by the whisky and flops out of the side the mouth and being affected by the damp foggy surroundings, turns blue.
Women are affected slightly differently, the tongue still flops out and turns blue but with their incessant chatter means they can’t be understood giving a whole new meaning to ‘Slack Tongue’.
Curable.
Non contagious.
Crymlyn Squitters.
Very similar to the above but affecting the other end of the body. Again consumption of Laverbread whisky, Laverbread sarnies and the eating of the much prized Purple – spotted Turnip contributes to this very debilitating condition. It is most prevalent the day after festivals and holidays such as ‘Old Thrummers Night’
Curable.
Non contagious.
Foul Drought.
Normally only occurs in summer or times of very dry weather, the water in the streams and wells turns black or dries out. Locals take to the Laverbread stills and brew up, a very strong ale is made from the Purple – spotted turnip also the Twuzzle fruit makes a fine wine. Not all bad, but it does contribute immensely to the above two conditions.
Creeping Splooge.
A very nasty disease, and could be fatal. The person afflicted has been unfortunate in coming into contact with the carnivorous snails that live in the Nicnac birds burrow and has been lucky enough to escape.
Probably unknown to the victim at first, a few of these snails have attached themselves to the legs and then started to bite, realising this and brushing them off the poor wretch seeks help. But its nearly always to late, the slime from the snail has done its worst and starts to creep up the body, dissolving tissue as it progresses. If the victim is lucky and the family can afford the medication a ‘sometimes’ cure is Deep fried frog pills. This special frog is a tree dwelling species about 1½ long, yellow with blue under belly, found in the great forest on Drymmau Mountain so is a good days journey there and back, by this time the victim is deceased.
Curable???
Non contagious.
crymlyncreeper
Trouble at the Laverbread Carters Ball
Trouble at the Laverbread carter’s ball held in the village of Llandownbyther last Thursday may mean the end of this very old custom.
Word has it the evening had gone down well, almost as well as the Laverbread whiskey when trouble broke out between the carters and a group of quarrymen from the Bara-brith quarries that are located further up the valley.
An eye-witness stated that the quarrymen had started the fight by bringing into doubt the manliness of the carters saying, ‘anyone can sit on a cart all day’ and ‘they ought to try men’s work, like quarrying’. It seems one thing led to another and a fight ensued.
The Constable was called and with the aid of his nightstick, soon brought the situation under control. A number of local people were arrested.
Iestyn ap (his mother never knew his fathers name) stated as he was led away, ‘it was the best bloody carters ball he’d been to for years’.
A number of local dignitaries were present and Lady Elizabeth Corkscrew-Jones had to be escorted away by several male friends, she was seen later in the evening with a very big smile on her face. The Reverend Goronwy Pugh – Jones (no relation of the good Lady and by all accounts she’s very good.) had to be revived with what appeared to be some white powder that he insisted he put up his nose, this seemed to work as ten minutes later he was willing to take on all comers.
All those arrested will be up before the magistrate at Neath in the morning.
dickydaido
Have been out of the Country for a while, trying to set up a new trading post for Grockle Sponges, which are prolific in the Greek Islands. Unfortunately the laverbread raft was sunk by an Eartquake off the Island of Rhodes. My fault for calling the Templars a bunch of Pillocks, for losing the Holy Grail.
We are now in the process of constructing a anti gravity device powered by a rare form of Bara Brith. On completion of which Grocle Sponge(old Welsh spelling) will flow into a little known smugglers haunt, comefrombytherebeforeicatchesinew, near Penclacwich on Sea.
These will not be available on the open market but can be obtained from www.grocklespongewhimseys.co.wales We look forward to the comments of the Creeper as regards aforesaid dealings.
crymlyncreeper
Well its good to have you back safe,can I suggest you abandone the Grockle sponge trading and concentrate on the agd.By mixing the rare Bara Brith in the skull of a recently deceased Grockle and then cooking at 450F at midnight on the turn of the moon for 2hrs the resulting mixture should present a viable power source if a Cross-Phase Loop is coupled to the brain of the Grockle that was recently deceased.
Obviously as everyone knows a dark, stormy night with lightning is best to get the super charge required. Care must be taken as a similair experiment was tried may years ago which resulted in Lundy Island being transported out into the Bristol Channel, (apparently it was originally attached to Mumbles). Laverbread whisky as a starter propellent could be used but would have to be measured very carefully.Using the Bi-polar effect of Twuzzle fruit would ensure the device stayed on the correct trajectory. I wish you luck.
Dark matter as been created, within the Dafydd crasher(Welsh version of the Hadron Collider)
We were attempting to create Grockle sponges by the accelaration of Laverbread to beyond Bara Brith speeds , which is approximately four times the speed of a Penclawdd Cockle, all to no avail as a very large Black Hole was created when the Laverbread was bombarded with stale Welshcakes at Bara Brith speeds.
This black hole or Pit as it is commonly known in the locality, has swallowed most of Clydach,Rhos and alltwen. Not a bad thing according to the Colliers of Cilmaengwyn who were accusing aforesaid of pinching their load from the Tripe caverns.
We wait in anticipation of an equally plausible reply from the Crymlyn Creeper.
Hope this finds you as it leaves me Brainless
dickydaido
Sadly the Crumlyn Creeper has departed this life, on the 25 feb this year.
His wit and comments will be sadly missed by this Scribe,
I hope that anyone who has read, and digested the drivel that we posted received some amusment from same, I hope that someone out there might carry on his part.
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Hello,
I was recently out walking my dog, his name is Beaker. We were coming through a field full of cows and he was paying particular attention to the variety of cow pats lying about. I however had noticed that there was an extra tail sticking out from under one of the cows. I was surprised, but on reading your description I now know that I spotted a boggitt and not an alien mutated cow. In future I shall take a big net with me to see if I can catch one. Do you have any tips for snaring a boggitt?